I’m an ex-Management Consultant who used to work in Mergers and Acquisitions (M&A), in the City. Due to a series of unfortunate events, my career was cut short by a horrible little Scottish man of uncertain parentage, called Ross McGyver. Swivel on this, Ross.
As they used to say in the consultancy where I once worked, it’s all water off a duck’s back, under a bridge. I have a new job now, as London’s Premier Detecting Consultant.
What can I tell you about me? I play rugby, fly half is my preferred position. I’m a little rusty around the edges, having taken a season off to unravel a government conspiracy that had the audacity to take place under my nose, in this fair city I call home. I have a huge liking for console games, especially anything involving zombies. I’m currently dating the lovely Juliet, who’s PA to a bunch of Old Boys at Grrr! Communications. Truth be told, she’s not really my type – I prefer horsey girls with a healthy appetite and bums forged in the saddle. I’m convinced my friend Cyrano has his eye on Miss Harrington, or Harry as the boys call her - the suave French swine.
I thought for a while I might be the one to scribble down my adventures, in the same manner as Watson transcribed the investigations of his pal Sherlock Holmes. Truth be told, when I try to tell the story from my POV, I end up sounding like a bigheaded ass of the highest order. And besides which, I’m more of the outdoor type than a stay at home author. I considered employing an enthusiastic junior, straight out of University, eager to get stuck in, but in the end I was persuaded to delegate the story telling to my old pal Phillip Legard, who I met back in the day, when I was treading the boards of Finance. He in turn brought in one of his pals, Richard Argent, as illustrator. If you haven’t already seen Richard’s cartoon histories, I suggest you pay them homage here: www.argentart.co.uk
Between them, they've created the Ferret Files.
I can’t possibly comment on how much of what Phillip has written is true. He interviewed my friends and I, at great length, asking about events in far too much detail, especially where my girlfriend is concerned. You know what they say in literary circles: never let the facts get in the way of a great story. I know I’ve had a lot of fun living the Detecting Consultant dream. I hope you have as much fun reading about the strange case of True Blue and Projekt XIII.
One more thing before I sign off. I’m not an anthropomorphic ferret, I’m a human being who was named Ferret by a pair of irresponsible parents. The cartoon ferret which is my avatar and appears on my business card was drawn by my talented tailor chum Raffles de Souza. I have a fondness for the cartoon Ferret, he's here to stay.
Did I tell you I have a psychic gift? Think of it as a surprise. You’ll discover what I can do soon enough…
All the best,