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The virtual home of FERRET London's Premier Detecting Consultant
The virtual home of FERRETLondon's Premier Detecting Consultant


My oldest friend is a drug dealing Frenchman with a nose for trouble.  He objects to the title ‘dealer’.  He says he has people to do the dirty work for him, he’s simply the contacts man.  Personally, I have no interest in the details of his sordid little empire.  I do know that he’s a purveyor of the finest New World ordinance known to humanity.  Premier Cru Charles is what he calls it.  My French friend thinks I have no motivation and is forever trying to micromanage my life for me, telling me what to wear and where to live.  We have one of those love/hate best friend relationships, which is no bromance.




Marcus is my friend in Intelligence.  He’s the department head of a government funded unit known as ‘The Agency’.  That’s all I know about his job.  Whenever I question him more, he cites the very boring Official Secrets Act, and starts talking about needs to know.  He’s a very clever chap, that much I do know, and unlike the Frenchman always has my back.  I’ve never known Marcus be in a relationship, other than with his work, although he has had a few fancy youths over the years – but not THAT youthful, heaven forbid!  I sometimes think he fancies me, although if he does, he’s never let on.




My banker friend is a barrow boy made good who suffers from shorty complex and has a tendency to be a bully boy.  He runs the Decuria’s finances, and always knows what to do with a decent mergers tip.  On account of his abusive nature, we try to have as little to do with Tristan the Centurion as possible.  Unfortunately, he rather likes hanging out with us, and that’s the cause of much trouble.



Tom Tom

Currently elected Decanus, Tom Tom is an art dealer whose client base is mostly located in the City.  Due to complex family dynamics, he has a brother who is a fully paid-up Old Boy, although he’s only a half-boy of the lowest ranking.  That’s why the Network recruited him - to be part of its eyes and ears operation, keeping track of what the Old Boys of the establishment are up to.




Currently somewhere in Africa, running a gang of hired guns, either looking after or trying to topple tin pot dictators.  Rusty is South African, forthright and very sweary.  I like him a lot, we tease each other over the rugby, especially when England thrash the Springboks.




How he was ever allowed to join the Legion I do not know.  Harvey has spent a lot of time in and out of mental institutes, due to his passion for setting things on fire.  Fortunately, he’s never killed anyone and his rich parents have kept his exploits out of the papers.




The newest member of the Decuria.  He works for my friend Marcus, in intelligence.  I gather he’s super smart, with a special relationship with technology.




The second newest member of the Decuria.  He works in finance, specialising in the bond market.


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© Phillip Legard (words), Richard Argent (images)